


Empty Vessel, Crooked Teeth

by Amberly



Series: Just Like Heaven [6]
Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: Jealousy, M/M, Pre-Slash, Present Tense, Rejection Sensitivity, Tiny Panic, small anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-29
Updated: 2020-09-29
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:34:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26716108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amberly/pseuds/Amberly
Summary: Wufei is on a date. A date date and Duo shouldn’t be surprised except he is. He is surprised and he’s hurt, somehow.
Relationships: Chang Wufei/Duo Maxwell
Series: Just Like Heaven [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/405643
Comments: 4
Kudos: 9





	Empty Vessel, Crooked Teeth

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading and thanks for enjoying a verse that has always been very special to me. It means a lot, always. 
> 
> While the focus of this is definitely the characters and working them through some of their trauma as they come together, I have decided to start giving the “background” plot more space to play. You’ll see that in the next pieces, as they come out, and I hope you enjoy them.
> 
> In the meantime—what, no there is no projection here

“It doesn’t add up.” 

“It is lunch time, Duo,” Wufei points out, taking another bite of his food. Duo frowns at him. It’s a good frown, his violet eyes narrowed. Wufei doesn’t seem to notice how good it is, instead focused on eating. Sighing heavily, Duo leans back in his seat and then shakes his head. He has wasted a good frown, and usually--Wufei would notice. Duo worries his lower lip in silence for a few moments. 

“I know. But it doesn’t.” 

“Who wrote the report?” 

“Me. Well, I wrote the report. But I’m re-reading the intel-- ”  
  
“You think the intel was bad?” Wufei arches an eyebrow, setting down his mug of tea and looking at him, finally. Duo nods, mouth full. Pursing his lips, Wufei looks him over for several moments, then shrugs. He turns back to his food. “Look into it, then. You’re going to worry at it until you know for sure either way.” 

“I know,” Duo makes a face. There is something here that feels like a cut on the roof of his mouth. That hurts, a little, if he touches it. He takes a sip of his water and lets out a thoughtful hum. “I’ll probably end up bringing it home.”

“I hope you have a lovely night with it,” Wufei smirks, leaning back in his chair and looking up once more. There’s something in his gaze that isn’t quite right. That looks like hiding. The last time Duo saw that look was--he can’t remember. His brow furrows as he listens. Frowns, still listening, violet eyes narrowing. “I have a date tonight. So I won’t be home.”  
  
“You--oh.” 

“Yes, I oh.” Wufei teases him. He laughs, cheeks flushing. Holding himself a little stiff as he runs a hand over his neat ponytail. “I meant to tell you earlier, but it was kind of last minute.”  
  
“It’s...okay,” Duo says, brow still furrowed. “I mean--if you want to go on dates, Fei, you should go.” There’s something that sits wrong and Duo doesn’t know what it is. Doesn’t understand the sudden hot feeling that sweeps over him, the pit that forms in his stomach. The way his chest hurts. Duo tips his head and then lets out a soft laugh, trying to force a sparkle into his eyes. Trying to bring mirth he doesn’t feel. “I guess that means I’ll be alone with my reports.” 

“I guess so,” Wufei smiles at him, then checks his watch. “I’d better get back. I have new recruit portfolios to review.” He stands, collecting his trash, and Duo can only nod. It is about that time. He’d been late to lunch anyway, caught up in reading. He swallows, then offers Wufei a small smile.  
  
“Sure. I’ll--well, good luck tonight.”

He hopes it sounds sincere.

* * *

The house is empty when he gets home. Duo knew it would be, but it’s still jarring. Usually Wufei gets home first. Usually, there are small Wufei noises, filling the space and letting Duo know that he’s not alone. There’s the smell of tea and sometimes dinner and Duo takes his shoes off and takes a deep breath. He’s off balance. Sets his things down in the entry and toes off his shoes and soaks in the silence. It settles into him. Sits in his bones as he takes his case file and reports and laptop to the table. 

Wufei is on a date. A _date_ date and Duo shouldn’t be surprised except he is. He is surprised and he’s hurt, somehow. As if Wufei is betraying him in some way by finding happiness outside of the comfort of their routine. Their house and their things, the dinners they have together and the quiet evenings spent in the living room or the balcony, reading or sketching or doing whatever it is when they’re together and not speaking. Existing in a quiet, homey harmony. Duo wants Wufei to be happy but Duo also wants Wufei to be home.  
  
He flips the intel file open. Takes the cap off his highlighter and opens his laptop and sets down the report he spent hours writing, right here, Wufei a steady presence at his back.He’d needed it, after Alice. After sitting on the Preventer’s roof and watching the world go by without her. Wufei had brought him home. Made him hot chocolate and wrapped him in a blanket and set him down. Told him the same thing he’d told him at the lunch table earlier: 

_“You’re going to worry at it until you know for sure.”_ _  
_ _  
_ That’s what Duo did, wasn’t it? He worried at things. Picked them up and sat them down. Thought them over, thought around them. His impulsivity was carefully calculated and didn’t extend to his work, or the care he showed those on his team. It didn’t extend to his feelings, either. When he has feelings, he worries at them, or he ignores them. Duo wonders which he’s doing now as he stares at the empty screen.Looks down at the intel file, unopened on his lap. His brain won’t process it. Skips whole words and sentences and Duo’s flipped three pages before he realizes he hasn’t understood any of it. 

“Fuck.” The sound of his voice is shockingly loud in the apartment. Duo looks around. It’s not a bare apartment. There are paintings, and pictures. It’s homey. It’s home, and Duo loves every inch of it. But he doesn’t love it like this. Alone. Wufei is out and Duo wonders about the handful of times he’s been out. If Wufei’s felt like this, alone in their apartment. The home they’ve built together without meaning to. He stands. Picks up one of Wufei’s books, numb. Holds it between his hands and runs his fingers along the worn pages. They’re cold, and Duo doesn’t know what he expected. He holds the book against his chest as if it could breathe. As if holding it would somehow mean holding its owner, and the thought makes Duo flinch.  
  
He sets the book down sharply.  
  
Making his way to the kitchen, he opens the fridge. Stares at the food inside and then shuts the fridge. There’s nothing he wants to eat. Nothing will taste good anyway, Duo knows, and he heads back to the coffee table with a slump to his shoulders. Alone, he’s not sure how to think. Alone, he doesn’t know how to talk out all the little bits of the intel report that wiggle like a loose tooth. They’re right there. He can see them. Duo lets out a deep breath and tries to highlight them. Starts making notes in the margin of the pages and hates it. Hates how counterintuitive and how quiet it is and he lets out a loud huff, finally. Tips his head back against the couch. 

“Fuck.” He says again. Loud. Duo leaves his things on the coffee table and stalks to his bedroom. Wufei will want to fight about it later, and Duo is glad. He wants to fight about it. He wants noise and loudness and Wufei, at home, where he belongs. The thought lights something. Burns him wildfire bright and he smothers the flame automatically. It’s instinct and fear and a deep bone weary loneliness born of a childhood in isolation, and when Duo finally slides into bed the scorch marks on his heart have cooled. He can ignore them. Face the middle of his bed and let his eyes close, willing his stomach to stop curdling. 

He will sleep. He will wake up and fight with Wufei about the coffee table. He will ask Wufei about the date and enthuse with him or threaten to slash tires. Duo knows all of this the same way he knows everything else. Cradles that still small voice inside of him to his chest. It reminds him. Tells him as many times as he needs to hear that he doesn’t deserve it--that he hasn’t earned it. That he doesn’t feel things, really, and the scattered bits and pieces of him that do are misfiring. Are mistaking friendship for something more and he’d better be careful or else--or else or else or else. Duo curls in on himself. Holds a pillow tightly. Falls asleep. 


End file.
